Meeting in the Middle
by mandolin28
Summary: Finchel drabble- Immediately post 4x04- Maybe "we're done" isn't as easy as she thought.


It's not like he doesn't want to call her. He does. He really, really does. But every time he lets his thumb hover over the send button, something stops him cold. _I hated you._ She hated him. The one person in his universe (besides his Mom) that had always loved him so unconditionally, so completely had actually found herself hating him. Even if it was just for a short while until she realized how much love he had just poured on her, it was killing him to think she ever felt hate for him. That wasn't his intention at all. And hearing it come out of her mouth? It hurt like hell.

It's not like she doesn't want to call him. She does. She really, really does. But every time she lets her thumb hover over the send button, something stops her cold. _We're done._ She had said it. And she had meant it. That didn't stop her from aching for him. From wanting to hear his voice to make sure he was OK. It killed her to end it and just leave him to his inner turmoil. There has hardly been a time since she had known Finn Hudson that he hadn't been there for her and it almost felt traitorous to abandon him now. But, she had to. For both of them. He had to believe about himself what she already knew. He could do anything.

He tosses his phone onto his night stand and takes a look around his room. The same old room he had before his nomadic trip through Georgia. The same one where he used to hold her. Kiss her. Touch her. He lays back on his pillow releasing a heavy sigh, arms laid across his eyes. He doesn't realize he's crying until he feels the wetness drip into his ears. He sniffs and wipes the moisture away with the heels of his hands and returns his arms to their post. _I can't do this anymore. At least not now. _Do what? Argue? Help him? Hate him? Love him? What did she even mean? And not now? Then, when? Because that was a date he definitely wanted to mark in his calendar. How had the joy he had felt when she told him she wouldn't let him go again turn into this? This intolerable pain in his chest. Oh yeah, that's right, he thinks. The minute I snuck out on her like the coward I am.

She lays her phone down next to her on her bed. A bed in a room that already felt foreign to her. A room that looked like the room of a child when she already felt more like a woman. Still, this was a room that held many a memory for her. Most of them Finn filled. Songs. Giggles. Tears. Kisses. More than kisses. She felt her face flush. She curls up on her side and pulls her extra pillow, his pillow, to her chest and cries. Four months. _I was trying to help you._ She was still so mad. Then again, if he had called, if he had visited earlier, would she feel as confident as she does now? The last four months had been all about living for her and no one else. She had more drive and confidence than ever. Would she feel the same if he had been there, too?

He can't take it anymore. He throws an old hoodie on over his pajamas and sneaks out the front door. The crisp fall night air hits his face and he closes his eyes to take it in. As he walks in no direction in particular, he looks around what he resigns will be his surroundings for the rest of his life. No big dream. No Rachel. She'll be a star shining brighter than all the rest and he will always be her biggest fan. She just won't know. Because she'll marry some Broadway dude and forget all about the boy who kissed her first. Another tear falls at the thought. No. He won't live a life without her in it. He has to get his crap together. He has to find the worth she seems to think is in there and he has to rise to this occasion. He is already a man she is proud of. Now he needs to find out why.

She shivers against the cold. Walks have become common in her life in New York. Not in her neighborhood, of course. But in the park after classes. Walking helps her sort things out. It relaxes her. And, tonight is no different. But, it is also helping her keep from calling him, having left her phone at home on purpose. She had proved to herself that she could walk away from him for his own good. But, that doesn't mean she wants to see anyone else. Brody was a way to act like everything was alright. It wasn't. Brody didn't matter. Because, she meant what she said when she told he is the love of her life. And she meant what she said tonight when she told him she wanted him to be her last love. It has always been Finn. It will always be Finn. She can't just walk away. It's that damn tether. He needs his best friend right now. And she needs his presence in her life.

He thinks he's seeing things when he spots the tiny figure in the black sweater walking in his direction. There is no way that's Rachel and now he thinks he's gone completely crazy. But, the closer he gets, he sees that it is, indeed, the mini brunette that owns him. What is she doing out here in the middle of the night? Is she still so mad at him that she's out here cooling off?

She is a little uneasy when she sees the shadowy figure yards in front of her. It's an instinct she's developed living in the city. But, the closer he gets, she sees that it's the boy who would never hurt her on purpose. And that thought suddenly makes it all clear. He didn't stay away to hurt her. He stayed away because he was hurting. Because the one ounce of pride he had was stripped away with one accidental nudge to a trigger. Because he wanted her to be proud and he thought he had failed her. He's so stupid, she thinks. So brilliant and so stupid.

They meet under a street light and she pulls her arms tightly around herself. Without a word, he strips himself of his hoodie and wraps it around her, rubbing her arms to warm her. She looks into his eyes that have obviously been shedding tears and her heart melts. She slips her arms into the sleeves of the gigantic sweatshirt she's wearing and stretches them up to bring him close to her. His arms instantly tighten around her waist. She feels him bury his face in her neck and she leans her head into him.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks.

"Thinking about you."

They pull back just enough to see the other. His arms are still locked around her and she rests her hands on his chest.

"Your heart," she whispers.

"It's beating really fast," he says.

She smiles up at him, and he winks, letting her know he remembers, too.

"Finn, this isn't about wanting someone else. This is about-"

"I know."

She nods. "I want you to know that I am still here for you. You and me? We are a done deal."

"Yeah, you said that," He looks away. Her cold fingers pull his face to look down at her.

"No. Not 'we're done.' We'll never be _done_. But, you need to find out who you are and what you want and then realize that no matter who or what that is... I'm gonna love you just the same. Maybe even more. Done for now, Finn. Never for good."

She smiles so sweetly he has to kiss her. And she lets him. His lips betray him and she can feel just how much he needs her.

When the kiss ends they just stare at one another. Memorizing features that may be missing from their every day for quite awhile. The curve of his lip. The perfection of her nose.

"What happens now? I walk this way, you walk that way and we see what happens?"

"No. We both walk my way. We hold each other until 7:00 in the morning. You take me to the airport and kiss me goodbye. Then we see what happens."

He slips his arm around her shoulder and they walk back in the direction from which she came. Their future remains unclear, but one thing is crystal: Love may not always be enough. But in their case? It just might be.


End file.
